keelyblog

June 29, 2011

I was driving down Highway 290 westbound. I saw a police vehicle over to the side of the road and a man (I assumed the officer) searching for something on the other side of a bent fence. Figuring the car was empty, I did not slow down when driving past the car. I did not know there is a law stating that a driver must slow down by 20 miles per hour or move to the other lane if there is any emergency vehicle on the shoulder.

Officer pulled me over. Told me about the law. I handed him my driver’s license and insurance paper work and he asked if I had any outstanding warrants or tickets. I told him no. He asked if I knew about that law. I told him no. I did tell him that I saw the other officer, and was informed that the other man was just a pedestrian. After a very long wait, the officer came back with my license and insurance. He asked two more times if I had any outstanding warrants or recent tickets. Still no. I told him that I had a speeding ticket maybe 2 years ago. (This was inaccurate. It was more than 3 years ago, and in Washington state.) The officer then wrote out a citation for not only failing to reduce speed or move into the left lane, but for going 67 in a 65mph zone. I felt throughout that the officer was angry at me and looking for a reason to trouble me. I could not figure out why. I was not rude or argumentative.

I really feel the 67 in a 65 was not only a chance to charge me twice for the same offense, but quite unfair in general. It is very difficult to maintain a constant 65mph without using cruise control. I don’t generally use cruise control in city driving because the traffic speed is pretty unreliable.

Recently a QF blog that I enjoy posted this about planning your birthing wardrobe. What really surprised me, was the ratio in the comments of women who wear clothing during transition and birth! Geez! I decided that this would be a good intro into posting about my feelings of Original Sin and painful childbirth.

So here it is. Pain in childbirth is a blessing. It is a gift from the Lord to be able to return to a state of pre-knowledge. To commune directly with Him as the animals and plants do. A time to be wild and pure. A woman may have been tempted, but she is also the one who receives the ultimate forgiveness.

Obviously there are lots of women missing out on this experience! That is so sad. Why under Heaven would anyone be concerned about modesty while they are pushing a human being out her bottom? And if she is, then she hasn’t risen to that place of pre-knowledge. That is just sad. It makes me feel sad that they miss out on the intense perfection of labor.

Now I can see how a woman may be wearing clothing, then go into transition and not notice it any longer. However, most wild animals would tear it off. So, again, the disturbing part is the ratio of clothing-wearers vs. ripping-it-offers.

The weather report for the last few days in TX matched the report for the first few days back in the PNW. Well, at least in words, not so much in essence. So for fun, and to show the disconnect in language, I took pictures of the sky all day today.

Here’s the first shot this morning off the south end of our back porch. Not looking too cloudy yet. Just a few whispy bits.

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Clouds are starting to puff up and look like popcorn. Still lots of bright light and warm weather. Perfect weather, really! Sunny and 90 degrees. A note about the sky–the near indigo color in the top left corner of this picture may be my favorite color in the whole world. It is certainly my favorite color of sky!

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We went to get ice cream in the early afternoon. On the way back, part of the sky seemed to be cloudy. However, any darkness in this picture is a result of my very dirty windshield. It was a super bright and beautiful “mostly cloudy” day!

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We arrived home and I was able to find a mostly cloudy patch off the north end of our back porch.

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However, this was the south end of the porch at the same time. So far, this day has turned out to be mostly sunny, not mostly cloudy. Hooray!

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The real show came just in time for dusk. A thunderstorm rolled in! Oh, how I have missed thunderstorms! And you see, there is still a patch of blue to be seen surrounded by dark storm clouds. Oh, rain. Sweet, ploppy, never-face stinging rain. The rain that charges the air and excites everyone. Rain that is the stuff of romantic scenes. Not the sad, parting kind of scenes like in Casablance. Oh, no! The suddenly getting stuck in a barn through the storm kind of romantic scene. Flashing lightening in the background. THIS is the rain to run outside and dance in. THIS is the rain that encourages puddle jumping. This is REAL rain. Rain that brings with it a show so awesome that only God can create it. The theatre of the world at its best. Sweet and wonderful thunderstorms.

I took a few more photos, trying to catch a lightening bolt with my tiny point and shoot camera. No luck. However, my 4.5yo daughter LOVED how the lightening made the sky turn pink! :) Here are some gorgeous shots I did get in:

Only way to describe the weather. The solid cloud cover is so thick and dense that light hardly gets through. There was no day time today. Not even cloudy daytime. Solid dusk.

People seem to think that not having sunshine makes me depressed. They are mistaken. I do get depressed sometimes, but not for lack of sun. Rather, I get depressed because my body is no longer functional. The back of my eyes are thinning and need to be rechecked in 9 months. My hormone levels are all over the place and out of control. My mind is often cloudy and dull. I have a hard time processing. A hard time remembering. A very hard time switching from one task to another and simultaneously having a hard time focusing on the task at hand. I do not feel relaxed ever without intoxicants.

I saw a doctor today who is convinced I have a gluten intolerance. However, I do not experience any of these symptoms when I am receiving a healthy dose of sunshine. Wonderful, relaxing, stretching naked on the back porch sunshine. So perhaps lack of sun is causing a gluten intolerance? Or maybe that is a side-effect of the stress caused by not having any way to relax?

Whatever is going on, lack of sunshine does not make me depressed. This is nothing like looking out on a cloudy day and feeling a bit bummed. This is nothing like looking forward to the next sunny day. This is complete degradation and demoralization. This is ceasing to be alive.

I do not need to stop eating gluten. I need to have the healing wonders of God’s universe wash over me. I need the world to be bigger than these grey, dusky skies.