I am 100% for every American’s right to choose, and work to attain, any career they wish. Equal pay for equal work is only logical. Feminists got caught up in the idea that what they want is better than what everyone else wants. The effects of that continues to plague our society. Here are some points that disturb me:
1. A whole generation of kids raised by strangers in assembly-line care. I know what I am talking about here. I spent years working for a very highly rated day care. The director was really caring and intelligent, with a good measure of common sense. Several of the teachers were there because they had children that were daycare age. They cared, were loving and kind to the children, etc. Everything a working parent may be looking for. However, the reality of group child care is that so many things become an assembly line and there is a lot of pressure to conform. We did not respect a woman’s wishes that her 18mo was allowed the use of a potty. That went against our training. However, if kids were not using the potty by 4 or 5, that was also an issue. The same with food, play, education. Everything had to fit into the narrow guide of averages and everything was assembly line.
2. Economic climate set up to penalize the one-income home. It’s near impossible to buy a house on most single incomes. Everything is at a price that would never have been allowed to soar so high if the average household only had one income.
3. Any single woman who admits that she is looking for a man who makes enough to support a family is ostracized and called a “gold digger”. Sixty years ago, a gold digger only described someone specifically after a millionaire. Now, since it is very difficult to support a family on one income, spousal income really does play a role in finding a true mate.
4. Male role models for being sole provider are zero to none. Men don’t know how to do it. It sounds easy, having a wife at home to take care of things, but really it is a huge burden. Especially if the wife has no prerequisites for making money outside of the house and/or small children still nursing would make in near impossible for her to find a job. Truly mated traditional couples help and respect each other. Women my own age seem to believe the pop media about traditional marriages–that all wives were subjugated and all husbands were chauvinists. I know that to be false, as I have met many couples that do not fit that mold. Now, that is all we hear. So modern men don’t understand that being provider and head of household does not mean that they will be waited on hand and foot by a slave woman.
5. At the same time, there are few role models for the strong housewife. Most women believe the myth of chauvinist/slave. Again, there is ridicule from feminists towards women who’s main goal is to make a good home life for the benefit of her husband and herself.
6. The other big issue feminists claim to fight for are reproductive rights. However, they only fight for one aspect of reproductive rights. In doing so, we now have an unhealthy climate for sexuality. Because many women feel they should be sexually “free”, that has become status quo. So much so, that modern men balk at the idea of waiting until marriage. There is a lot of cultural pressure to have sex, yet very little cultural acceptance of the wide range of normal sexuality. In other words, tell your young women that everyone expect them to have sex, but only the way everyone else has sex. I believe we should be more relaxed about sexuality, while embracing the idea of emotional and psychological repercussions of pre-marital sex. Men should not expect to ever have sex with any woman he goes on a date with. Women should never feel the pressure to put out from other women. Single people who make it into adulthood as virgins should be everyone’s hero, not a joke.
7. Feminists killed porn as an art form. When porn was on the cusp in the 70’s about which way it would go; when female sexuality and orgasm were finally on the public agenda; when feminists were at their height of political power; they sided with the anti-sexual to kill the artistic porn industry. What we have now is just disgusting. That was the shift. They did not embrace the idea of female sexuality in media when the shift in media was primed for it.
8. They often disparage that we have so few women leaders, compared to Native cultures–many are lead by women. They teach this to young girls, leaving out the crucial fact. The crucial fact is that these women leaders were grandmothers. They were wise from years of raising families. They had a good understanding of life and each member of their tribes. There were not young women in high leadership roles. Young women needed to spend a few decades taking care of families to become wise and respected enough to guide. There were not usually women in hunting parties. Does this mean they were more feminists than we are? No. It just means they were more sensible than we are. Who do you want to lead you–someone who knows about life or someone who knows about law? Whatever career you go into, you are going to learn more about that than about any other. The housewife learns more about living, and possibly some other house arts, than those who are too busy at their jobs to watch the diversity of life.
9. Mixed signals in the media. Feminists bemoan how women, in media directed at men, are shown mostly as supports, side kicks, and expendable. On the other hand, men, in media directed at women, are shown as duffusses. They fumble, are not as smart, do not understand, are completely useless around the house. Obviously there is still internal desire, from men in general, for women to be helpful and supportive and prime their egos a bit. Women are taught that being loving, supportive, and priming a man’s ego is disgraceful. Women are shown to be able to handle everything, and men barely nothing. How is this supposed to help our young men become good fathers? Nothing they do is good enough and their secret needs are offensive.
Are we really surprised by abortions going up and more women struggling to be single parents? No one knows how to embrace each other. Women are trying to take on too much, more than any human can accomplish reasonably. Men don’t know how to act, so they are afraid to act. No one is telling them they are good enough. And feminists want us to think of them just as a group out to get equal pay for equal work? Sorry, ladies, it ain’t happening.
4. Men no longer have real role modals for how to be a sole provider.
I am a stay at home mother to a toddler and an infant. I enjoy sewing and learning css. My greatest dream is for 70%-80% of women in the U.S. to recieve the safest prenatal and labor care available for low risk births--a midwife's care!